When sexual abuse began at age three, perhaps four and continues only until I am able, at age 17, a gun pointed at my head… then, with words still clear and ever present to this day, “No, I will not pull down my panties.” There I stood, left to fathom why my drunken mother would finally speak up and say, “No, Chuck, leave her alone!”
This abuse cannot be excused, nor willed away. No matter how thrilling it might be to the warped mind that wishes to dwell within it, I can easily condemn all who seek to justify it in any sense. There is none. There never will be. A perverted mind is simply that, perverted. Perhaps it takes being raped to see thru the veil of those who have never experienced such trauma? And, for those who can write about their own abuse, perhaps they are lost in their acceptance of being an accomplice? You were not. You were victims.
Did I enjoy it? Even at that youngest of years I instinctively knew it was wrong, shameful, vile and contemptuous. How does one run, where does one go when even their siblings, all five os us, are victims? When our own mother would prefer it be us rather than someone outside of the family?
You may continue to savor the stories of victims, but there will always be those of us that do question the intent of others. Trust is never given. It must be earned.
Lolita is always clickbait for me. Great essay. Interesting theory about Nabokov and his using HH's evil as a replacement for the political evil around him.
I thought about the St. Aubyn books and was glad they were mentioned. The character of the father David was so awful. But as a reader, he was to me like Hannibal Lector---I was always interested in what terrible thing he might do or say next.
Peter: I believe that if children were to grow up with sexuality, as though it was normal and natural, which it is . . . If they were allowed to get joy and pleasure out of their God-given parts, this world would be a much better place'
Metrotorpid writer please take note of the humbling 'as though" Then explain for us in what way Peter is wrong. Squirming throughout your high falutin' passages your bizarre message is clear: this entity we monolithically dub 'the child" (and now even 'the minor') exists in another realm to us, which is called Innocence. The slightest fleshly adventure conducted within this precious realm automatically signals the presence of absolute evil.
And to think, I thought we were in the land of literature, where many, many brightly beautuful things remain possible and where one deadly poison narrative of trauma and abiuse does not exclude all else before we have even become aware of the anus we sit on.
It seems I was wrong. God bless the defiant Gabriel and
..and all those brave enough to sail upon his spirit. Ok, so he perceives himself to be at the center. Can anyone say that the created figure of 'the pædophile' is not utterly central to the way our W E I R D culture feels it must operate? Operate in the perfectly hideous way it does since god knows when? Just so long as that erotic capital keeps growing and growing in the heavenly Fort Knox we've created with *the child*?
When sexual abuse began at age three, perhaps four and continues only until I am able, at age 17, a gun pointed at my head… then, with words still clear and ever present to this day, “No, I will not pull down my panties.” There I stood, left to fathom why my drunken mother would finally speak up and say, “No, Chuck, leave her alone!”
This abuse cannot be excused, nor willed away. No matter how thrilling it might be to the warped mind that wishes to dwell within it, I can easily condemn all who seek to justify it in any sense. There is none. There never will be. A perverted mind is simply that, perverted. Perhaps it takes being raped to see thru the veil of those who have never experienced such trauma? And, for those who can write about their own abuse, perhaps they are lost in their acceptance of being an accomplice? You were not. You were victims.
Did I enjoy it? Even at that youngest of years I instinctively knew it was wrong, shameful, vile and contemptuous. How does one run, where does one go when even their siblings, all five os us, are victims? When our own mother would prefer it be us rather than someone outside of the family?
You may continue to savor the stories of victims, but there will always be those of us that do question the intent of others. Trust is never given. It must be earned.
Lolita is always clickbait for me. Great essay. Interesting theory about Nabokov and his using HH's evil as a replacement for the political evil around him.
I thought about the St. Aubyn books and was glad they were mentioned. The character of the father David was so awful. But as a reader, he was to me like Hannibal Lector---I was always interested in what terrible thing he might do or say next.
Fascinating piece. I will pick up TIGER, TIGER, for sure.
Well done. Thank you. Yet another glimpse of the pedopandemic. Click below to walk a few steps in our shoes.
https://open.substack.com/pub/slobovitch/p/cooties?r=19q927&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Peter: I believe that if children were to grow up with sexuality, as though it was normal and natural, which it is . . . If they were allowed to get joy and pleasure out of their God-given parts, this world would be a much better place'
Metrotorpid writer please take note of the humbling 'as though" Then explain for us in what way Peter is wrong. Squirming throughout your high falutin' passages your bizarre message is clear: this entity we monolithically dub 'the child" (and now even 'the minor') exists in another realm to us, which is called Innocence. The slightest fleshly adventure conducted within this precious realm automatically signals the presence of absolute evil.
And to think, I thought we were in the land of literature, where many, many brightly beautuful things remain possible and where one deadly poison narrative of trauma and abiuse does not exclude all else before we have even become aware of the anus we sit on.
It seems I was wrong. God bless the defiant Gabriel and
To
..and all those brave enough to sail upon his spirit. Ok, so he perceives himself to be at the center. Can anyone say that the created figure of 'the pædophile' is not utterly central to the way our W E I R D culture feels it must operate? Operate in the perfectly hideous way it does since god knows when? Just so long as that erotic capital keeps growing and growing in the heavenly Fort Knox we've created with *the child*?