7 Comments
User's avatar
Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Good grief. The weird magic of Naomi's "tales": they read like allegories, where the point is the big-picture message and the language doesnt matter that much, but then there'll be a pivot in the narrative that makes the phrasing significant.

Then events begin to mirror each other. Attitudes and motives flip like coins. Characters appear out of nowhere, faceless, change the protagonist’s life and then vanish. Several paragraphs are devoted to some broad-language description of a small bureaucratic conflict -- and then two decades are traversed in a sentence.

She has the most comfort-creating *style*, with the fable-like prose, but constantly maneuvers the story in some displacing/disquieting way.

What a risk, to've devoted so much time to this idiosyncratic style, but she's really honed it into an art.

Expand full comment
David Roberts's avatar

I liked your story!

Expand full comment
JAK-LAUGHING's avatar

Me too...it read fast... I'm wondering if there is a punch line... a finish...

Expand full comment
Tim Wright's avatar

Nice use of language, and this sort of reads like a fable with the narrative voice. I was anticipating more conflict/complication between the two principal characters as well as character change/growth. The plot spans some thirty years, so what have the characters learned in that time?

Expand full comment
Sandra Hardie's avatar

Interesting approach. Sort of a Fill In Your Own Blanks story. Certainly works for a short story. Not sure it would be sustainable in a longer version. Glad I read it.

Expand full comment
Cally Fiedorek's avatar

Really enjoyed this!

Expand full comment
E Olson's avatar

Am I just imagining it, or is Cheever coming through a little bit in this one?

I enjoyed this story!

Expand full comment