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Jesse Ratner's avatar

Interesting take on Liars, which I enjoyed (as I gritted my teeth at the tragedy of Jane's plight and how frequently she tried to believe in the misanthropic John). I'd like to believe that most men are not as awful as him. Even if some are, I wonder if the predicament of modern marriage (the dissipation of romance in the face of unrelenting non-romantic demands, the crushing lack of time for self-discovery and renewal) is a function less of traditional gender roles (and their deviant offshoots in the manosphere) and more an existential economic reality. Unless you're very wealthy, there's just not enough time (or energy) to live a "good life." Or maybe that's a delusion -- the "good life" -- that strivers (and especially time-starved writers) use as motivation to keep going? The top of the Sisyphean hill. I don't know the answer, but I appreciate your essay for its thoughtful insights and reminding me of Liars, which was an enjoyable hate-read. -)

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Michelle VS's avatar

I liked your article and agreed with so much of what you wrote. I was in an extremely abusive marriage for over 6 years in my early 30s, then left him because he didn’t want kids and am now in a loving marriage for 32 years with a man I admire and respect. It turned out my husband had a daughter so that solved having kids for me and we’re very clear on what we each do in our home. I had a problem with your disdain of maga men, though. All the men I know who are involved in maga are respectful, hard working men with a true enthusiasm for our country. The liberal men I know tend to not be very masculine, are somewhat narcissistic and very self involved. Just my experience.

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